Communicating with your teenager

Has your chatty, affectionate child become a teen who is distant, difficult to talk to, or seems to turn everything into an argument? As your child goes through adolescence, the dynamics of your relationship may change. Your teen may not want to be seen in public with you. They may spend a lot of time in their room. If you want to know how to strengthen your relationship with your teen, how to deal with or talk to your teenage daughter, or teenage son, it helps to understand more about communicating and the teenage brain.

What makes a strong parent-teenager relationship?

It takes time to form quality family relationships. When your child was little, it was natural to spend time talking to them, showing them affection, encouraging them and praising them. You may be surprised to know it's really important to keep doing that even in the teen years. It's never too late to start!

Some signs your relationship with your teenager needs repair include:

• They avoid talking to you
• They don't want your help or advice
• They over-react to small things or requests
• They keep things or secrets from you
• They yell or pick fights for what seems like no reason

WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF A GOOD parent-teenager relationship?

A strong relationship with your teenager starts with keeping the lines of communication open. Show an interest in what your teen is doing, who they are with, and where they are. This all helps to strengthen those mother-daughter, father-daughter, mother-son and father-son relationships. Take their ideas and concerns seriously. If they trust you, they know they can come to you with a problem.

Common reasons your relationship with your teen may be struggling:

• Communication and trust are both two-way streets. If your relationship with your teen has broken down, it will take time and effort to get things back on track.
• Not on the same page as your partner or ex? If your teenager regularly sees disagreements between you, it can damage their self-esteem and respect for their parents.
• Regular fighting between siblings can have a negative effect on all family relationships. This kind of tension can affect your relationship with your teen.

…or maybe all of these things are in play at once!