How Triple P helped Kayla create a calmer, more connected home

For Kayla, life was busy. Between full-time work, family responsibilities and living with extended family, finding quality time with her five-year-old daughter, Azalayah-Arihia, wasn't always easy. Parenting sometimes felt like another stressful job she had to manage.

Through the Triple P – Positive Parenting Program, Kayla learnt practical strategies that helped her grow closer to her daughter, communicate more openly with family members and feel more confident in her parenting.

Micro moments build stronger connections

Like many working parents, Kayla sometimes felt she was missing her daughter growing up, "I went back to work when my girl was five months old," said Kayla.

"It's been very difficult,” she said. “Not being present because I've had to work full time."

Kayla came to realise that strengthening her relationship with her daughter was not about finding more hours in the day. It was about being present in the moments they already shared, "Triple P helped me create that time,” she said, “instead of looking at it like another job.”

Pausing what you are doing and giving your child your full attention, even for a few minutes, helps children feel seen, understood and valued. For Kayla, this looked like taking a few minutes to sit down and have a chat.

By creating small opportunities to connect each day, she began to see a real difference in their relationship.

“I have loved doing the Triple P programme because now my relationship with my daughter is really good”, said Kayla. “It's probably improved my daughter's mental health but also my own mental health.”

Adjusting expectations, building skills

One of the biggest lessons Kayla took from Triple P was understanding what was right for her daughter at five years old.

"Sharing is a biggie for us," she said. "She won’t share …she will just keep it to herself. She'll take toys off other children.”

Learning about her daughter’s stage of development helped Kayla see challenging behaviour differently. “I had these high expectations of how she should be, what she should be doing,” said Kayla.

Children learn social skills like sharing over time, and with practice. This shift in focus helped Kayla support her daughter’s skills where they were at, "not expecting her to do things that a ten-year-old would do.”

Kayla now approaches challenges with greater patience and positivity, “she is still learning”.

Finding support through Triple P parenting groups

Another valuable part of the programme was meeting parents and whānau who were facing similar challenges.

"There's a lot of support that can be provided in a group setting. You can relate to other parents who are also going through the same challenges," said Kayla.

Hearing different perspectives and learning from other whānau gave her new ideas, practical strategies and reassurance along the way.

Kayla recommends keeping the Triple P strategies handy, "Put them on the fridge!"

As tamariki develop, the strategies can offer new perspectives and opportunities to learn, grow and reflect. Kayla says she will sometimes "recap on how I could deal with a situation that is new to me because as the child gets older, new challenges come up.” 

Stronger family relationships through positive parenting

The changes did not stop with Kayla and her daughter.

Living with her partner, siblings, nephews and nieces meant there were different approaches under the same roof. Triple P helped reinforce an important lesson for Kayla: parenting works best when adults talk openly, are consistent and work together

For Kayla, this meant "being more communicative with [her partner], with other people that I live with, like my siblings, their parenting styles and how we can adjust our parenting styles for our children."

Having those conversations led to a calmer, more positive home. For Kayla, the biggest change came from small shifts: connecting through micro moments, communicating openly, letting go of unrealistic expectations and working together with whānau.

Kayla said, “Triple P helps you just enjoy being a parent.”

Every parent needs a little help sometimes

Triple P offers practical, evidence-based parenting strategies to help you build confidence, support your child's development and create a calmer family life.

Find an online parenting course or face-to-face Triple P program near you and get started today.